I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
