His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
