she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
