i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Randomize
