That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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