butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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