the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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