shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
