I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
