Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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