This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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