I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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