She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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