**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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