She announced her abortion via fbk
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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