i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
