Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize