Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
