plz talk dirty to me
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
