I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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