I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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