me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
