dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
