can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
