you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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