I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
