you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
