I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
