theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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