If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
