She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
