brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
