I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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