Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
