Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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