Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
pray to the hookup gods
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
