Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
