Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
no, he came in my armpit
They should really pass out barf bags in church
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
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