Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
do herpes really smell.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
