Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
