he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Randomize
