Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
