I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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