call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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