Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
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