Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
