Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
