He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
