How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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