Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
