Dual....:-)
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
