he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Randomize