sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
