I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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