just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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