fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Houston, we have a blender
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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