the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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