every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
