i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i just google imaged poop.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
