Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
