shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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