My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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