clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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