I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
