White coat. Heels.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
