Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
