Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
