Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
