Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
There's always time for handjobs
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
