Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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