i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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